A few times a day, I feel as though my heart wants to burst open and pour out rainbows mixed with a few of those sad little rain clouds.
After about a year of social media exploration my heart is bursting with all the new information, knowledge, love and resources of so many good and brilliant Jesus followers that I have been introduced to. A little sad because I still feel so alone.
I feel like I’m “getting it.” I’m starting to understand heart of Jesus for women and minorities, the disabled, the marginalized, my neighbors and even my “enemies.” I am just a white middle class working mom. I take care of my family and my house, I do my job and watch TV. I’m so full of angst though, it isn’t enough. I have so many questions, but don’t know who to ask. I want to have face to face conversations with people about these things, but it seems like I’ve built myself inside of a little suburban wall. There is one window, and I see you people out there, the ones that are writing and meeting and talking, and I feel like I’ve lost my voice, and I want to cry out, but nothing is audible.
I don’t know what to do next. There is something more, I know it. God told me that a long time ago. He’s not done with me yet! I’m putting these thoughts out to the world now. I’m trusting that honesty and vulnerability will open me up to new possibilities. Clicking “publish” before I lose my nerve.
Somebody, please throw me a sledge hammer!